


Trauma and Healing

by Avengerdragoness



Category: DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Complete, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Jaybird, Major character death - Freeform, Mental Health Issues, Mental Illness, Metahuman Reader, Metahumans, No Smut, Only Mentions - Freeform, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Schizophrenia, Sex Trafficking, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, The Outlaws - Freeform, again only mentions of these things, batfam, batfamily, mentions of rape/non-con, no explicit stuff, nothing explicit!, pretty tame, the reader has been through hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-10-25 06:16:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10758438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avengerdragoness/pseuds/Avengerdragoness
Summary: You've been a victim of sex trafficking for as long as you can remember. Suffering from mental illness it seems the explosion of the particle accelerator seems to have changed you in someway. It has turned you into a metahuman. What will happen when the Outlaws save you from your prison and bring you into their own home? What will happen when they attempt to train you? How will things progress as you become to have feelings for the Red Hood himself?Originally posted on my Tumblr(@avengerdragoness)





	1. Broken Silence

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoy this!!! I appreciate any comments and kudos you guys leave!!
> 
> Key:  
> [F/n] - First name  
> [L/n] - Last name  
> [h/c] - Hair Color  
> [e/c] - Eye Color

Silence was the only comfort in a place like this. Only hearing the sound of your own breathing, sitting on the cold floor of a cell. Breathing out and seeing the faint puff of your breath, a shiver running through your body. Where were you? What happened to you?

Well, it’s quite simple really. You were kidnapped years ago and sold into human trafficking, though your sellers found you to be different. Special. So they didn’t simply sell you to the highest bidder at their sickening auctions. You were more rented. Not able to remember what life was like to be free, you only knew captivity. Like an animal.

Kept separate from the others they sold. Silence became a comfort, a friend, a safeguard. It told you when they were coming and how many. The sets of footsteps echo through the empty space meaning one thing and one thing alone. They were the only sound you’d here from this cell.

But that all changed, it had to be late at night due to the silence among the compound. No auction tonight mean no reason for them to come and take you. It was silent, that same comforting silence where you could hear your own heartbeat.

Knees pulled to your chest you listened to the thumping. Eventually the whispers began again, the ever prevalent voices you heard. This place was making you insane, you were sure of it. You would have mental breakdowns that led you to becoming violent. During them you completely lose yourself, like you’re watching your own body through a foggy window.

It was terrifying, yet also _beautiful_.

When they whispers began to grow louder that’s how you know if you’ll break or not. But tonight they seemed tamed, just faint voices.

Though within a minute of them speaking you heard what sounded like gunshots. Not a strange occurrence but these were one after the other. Guns were used as a scare tactic to keep everyone in line, but they never exceeded a three shots.

And what you heard sounded like a machine gun, like a fire fight.

Your grip tightened around your knees, fear coursing through your veins as your blood ran cold. Hearing shouts faintly within the compound, something rarely heard in your isolation.

Then you began to hear footsteps, a single set, sprinting toward your room. Seconds later the door flung open to see the man in charge of the ring, who goes by the simple name of ‘King.’

“Come on” he growled before pulling you to your feet by your hair. A yelp escaping your throat. That’s when he pinned you to the wall by your shoulder, “Don’t make another noise! Got that princess?” shoving a gun in your face. Staring at the gun you nodded, terrified at the weapon inches from your nose.

“Atta girl, now go!” A disgusting smirk showing his yellowing teeth. His breath volatile as he kept a hand on your shoulder and pushed you to stand in front of him as he walked. The gun pressed to your back in reassurance that you’d keep your mouth shut.

“Stop!” a deep voice yelled from behind the both of you.

In an instant he hand pulled your back to his chest and hand and arm holding you in place, while the other pressed the muzzle of the gun to your temple. “No, please!” Whimpering as your eyes shut tight.

“Let the girl go!” The deeper voice rang out once more. Opening your eyes you saw a man with a red helmet concealing his face, a red bird emblem on his chest plate. He held a gun in front of him with confidence.

You had heard of him, who was he again? One of the Gotham vigilantes? Or was it heroes? Only getting snippets of news broadcasts when a buyer had left a tv on.

“I don’t think so Red Hood, I kinda like this one. We’ve had her for awhile, our most prized possession. I can’t just give up a gem like this.” You were going to be sick at his words, ‘possession’ that’s all you were. Someone’s possession.

“People aren’t possessions ‘King,’ they’re human beings. Not to be bought and sold like some sort of market shelf product.” You were shocked at the words he said. No one had ever said such things in a place like this. He could blatantly see shock and confusion plastered in your features.

“I’m going to say this once more, _let the girl go_!”

You heard a chuckle behind you, before feeling him softly kiss your temple. “Well I guess all good things must come to an end. Sorry about this princess, you really were my favorite” he whispered into your ear before hearing the gun click.

That instant a shot was fired, though you fell to the floor anything but lifeless. Looking behind you, eyes widening in horror when seeing the lifeless body of your captor.  

Not watching as this ‘Red Hood’ holstered his gun and had walked toward you, he kneeled down beside you. “Are you okay?” going to touch your shoulder. However you jumped at his voice and recoiled. Until your back hit the wall, staring fearfully at the masked person in front of you.

“Hey hey, easy.” He said calmly, holding out a hand. He was crouched down in front of you. “I’m not here to hurt you.”

Your breathing was shallow and labored as you began to hear the whispers again, though louder this time as a splitting headache pierced through your temples. Clutching your head in your hands, forearms covering your ears. “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” Yelling to yourself, the voices only growing louder. This whole incident must’ve triggered something in you, because on the last ‘shut up’ an energy pulse sent through the hallway.

All the light bulbs bursting as Red Hood got pushed back and hit the wall behind him. It however had made you fall unconscious. The strain on your physical and mental state being too much for your body to bear.

* * *

Jason’s night vision clicked on in his helmet. His hand clutched his head, as it had hit the wall when the pulse sent him backward.

Looking up he saw the glass of the light bulbs shattered and you were out cold.

Catching his breath before saying “Guys” into his comlink. Hearing confirmation from Kori and Roy, “What is it Jay?”

**“We have a situation”**


	2. Meeting the Outlaws

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 my dears! Hope you love it <3
> 
> Warning: Mental Illness (hearing voices)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Key:  
> [F/n] - First name  
> [L/n] - Last name  
> [h/c] - Hair Color  
> [e/c] - Eye Color
> 
>  
> 
> I appreciate any feedback loves! <33

Waking up felt… strange. It’s warm and soft, comfortable even. There was a soft light trying to penetrate through your eyelids. Was this a dream? You haven’t felt like this in years, not since you were taken. Having forgotten this feeling, before it was just something you imagined and tried to remember, but now it’s real.

You move your hands around where you were laying. Feeling sheets and a comforter, the pillow under your head. Taking a deep breath, noticing the smell of cigarettes, gunpowder, and green apple? A surprisingly nice concoction. Opening your eyes, greeted by the warm light streaming in from the windows.

Sitting up slowly, wincing when feeling pain pulse through your temple. Bringing your hand up to massage the side of your head. Looking around, first noticing the red blanket wrapped around you. Then seeing a few guns on a dresser, also seeing a desk with a laptop and manilia files. A rather large collection of novels scattered on a bookshelf. There was a copy of ‘The Outsiders’ marked and on the night stand.

“Where?” Mumbling while still surveying the room. Hearing the door click, eyes shooting in the direction.

A woman peered in, she had green eyes with orange skin and hair. “You are awake” she smiled. Turning to what seemed like gesture someone to come.

Seeing a man with red hair come in, wearing sunglasses. Then the man who saved you the night prior, remembering the red helmet. “Who are you? Where am I?” staring at the three. The three exchanged looks, “I’m Arsenal, then there’s Red Hood and Starfire” the red haired man introduced them all.

You simply continued to stare, “You’re in our safe house, can you tell us your name and what happened to you?” Red Hood asked next.

“I, uh, I’m [F/n] [L/n]” you paused. “And I’d rather not talk about it” grip on the blanket tightening.

“We don’t mean about the trafficking. About your powers is what we mean.” Arsenal clarified whilst taking a hesitant step forward. You had to stand up, “I-I don’t know what you mean. W-What p-powers?” stuttering as, mind trying to wrap around the accusation.

The two looked at Red Hood who came and stood in front of you. A familiar smell of cigarettes and gunpowder wafting toward you. “When I took King down, you looked as if you were hearing things. You were yelling for something to ‘shut up’ before an energy pulse came from you.” He explained calmly, you stared at his mask before turning away and running a hand through your hair.

“I-I hear whispers sometimes. But it’s just from being held for so long.” You shook your head, trying to convince yourself. The three looked back at each other, “Were you in Central City the night of the particle accelerator explosion?” You heard Arsenal’s voice from behind you.

Thinking you walked and looked out the window, seeing the skyline. Remembering back through all of the times you were ever sent to Central City. Rubbing your face when remembering the night in question. You had been.

Crossing your arms across your chest and rubbing your upper arms. Looking over your shoulder nodding but keeping your gaze on the floor.

After that night the whispers started.

“We should let you get cleaned up, please use our bathroom and shower. I could let you borrow some clothes of mine.” Starfire offered.

“Thank you, I’d appreciate that” Looking down at your old, dirty clothes.

The three exited the room, leaving you to stare out the window. Taking a deep breath you went into the bathroom that seemed to adjoin the room. Seeing a towel laid out already. Closing the door behind you before turning on the shower. Not able to remember the last time you had taken a shower.

The warm water washed away all of the dirt and grime from your captivity. Observing the bottles of soaps. Eyes landing on the shampoo called ‘Harvest Apples,’ smiling upon remembering the scent that came off the sheets earlier. So, Red Hood was the one to offer you his bed. 

* * *

The three outlaws stayed in the common room. Jason was leaning against the back of the couch, of which Roy was sitting, and Kori was sitting on the floor cross legged.

They didn’t speak until they heard the shower start. Kori broke the silence first, “Do you think she is a metahuman?” watching the two men in front of you.

“It’s possible, from what I saw it seems that way.” Jason looked between the two. “Maybe we should call Ollie and Bruce? They will know how to figure out what she can do.” Roy suggested, fiddling with one of his arrows.

“That may not be a bad idea” Kori affirmed, they both looked at Jason.

He may be on good terms with Bruce again after forming the Outlaws but he still preferred to keep Outlaw matters separate from the League. Though he knew they were right, they had a Tamaranean, an archer, and a marksman. They didn’t exactly know too much about metas.

Sighing, “Fine, but just them. The League doesn’t get involved.” Jason stated as they both nodded. Roy went to call Oliver while Jason headed on to the fire escape to call Bruce. Kori headed into her room to find some clothes for you.

Finding a pair of jeans and a sweater. Walking back to Jason’s room, where he offered to let you rest. She laid the clothes on the bed, noticing your discarded clothes on the floor and the bathroom door closed. She lifted up the dark green button up shirt you once wore, taking note of the holes and tears. It was dingy and tattered.

She heard the shower turn off and headed back to the common room, finding the two back and done with their phone calls. “Well?” questioning upon stopping in front of them.

“They’ll be here early tomorrow morning.” Roy began, crossing his arms. “Bats promised to keep it out of League matters.” Jason continued on relaying the messages they received. Kori nodded, “I put some clothes in there for her, I think I’ll let her keep them. The other clothes are littered with holes.”

“When I was in there the shower turned off, I’d get your helmet and glasses if you wish to keep your identities secret” Kori observed as the two men nodded and searched for the items. Though you never came out.

“Should we check on her? It’s been 45min.” Roy stared at the still closed door. “She will come out when she is ready” Kori commented, flipping through a magazine. Jason nodded reading the book he swept off the nightstand before leaving the room earlier.

After 15 more minutes Roy’s curiosity was getting the better of him. “I want to see what she’s doing” he stood and walked to the door. Quietly cracking the door open. He peered in the room the others coming behind him. You were sitting on the floor head in your hands, hands covering your ears. They could hear you faintly mumbling something. Listening closer, hearing “Just be quiet. Stop.. Stop!” in a faint whisper.

Though your voice grew, hands beginning to pound on the side of your head. “Stop! Stop! Just shut up!” yelling. Jason ran into the room, the others right behind him.

He grabbed your hands and kept you from hitting yourself, “Stop! [F/n] Stop!” yelling to get through to you. When you looked at him your eyes had changed color from [e/c] to fiery gold, a magic of the same color swirled around your hands. He let you go and stepped back as you stopped resisting.

Your eyes widened at the sight, taking deep breaths. The magic faded and your head dropped in your hands again. Rubbing your eyes before looking at the three, “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for” Kori kneeled beside you.

Jason and Roy looked at each other, Jason looked back at you. His hands went to his helmet, he pulled it off. Roy followed suit with his glasses.

“[F/n]” he sat in front of you. You were shocked to see the two without their mask and glasses on. “You’re welcome to stay with us, my real names Jason Todd. That’s Roy Harper and she’s Koriand’r or Kori. We want to help you with your powers.” He watched as your eyes returned to their initial shade as you relaxed.

“I-I couldn’t burden you like that.” You looked between the three.

“No burden at all, we’d be honored to help you.” Kori smiled, placing a hand on your shoulder. “You already almost punched Jay, you’re an Outlaw already” Roy laughed, receiving a glare from the marksman.

“I don’t know what to say” looking back at Jason. “That you’ll let us help you” he instructed. You were stunned at first before allowing a smile and nodding. Kori smiled and hugged you. It had been so long since you felt a friendly touch. Usually you’d recoil from such an embrace but no this time you accepted it. Though Roy was soon to tackle the both of you. Jason only laughed, you smiled up at him.

This caused what felt like butterflies to form in his stomach. What’s that about?

You were happy to have help from them, but you couldn’t help but think. _‘There’s still so much they don’t know’_


	3. Cigarettes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all love this chapter!!
> 
> Warning: Mental Illness (hearing voices/mentions of schizophrenia), Mentions of abuse/rape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Key:  
> [F/n] - First name  
> [L/n] - Last name  
> [h/c] - Hair Color  
> [e/c] - Eye Color

That night wasn’t very hectic. Jason had offered you his room once more but you declined, saying the couch would be fine and that he should get some rest having saved you and all. But you couldn’t sleep, left to be staring at the ceiling of this unfamiliar apartment.

Examining the ceiling you memorized each and every dent or chip in the paint. However your attention was drawn away by the sound of someone’s feet hitting the fire escape and climbing up it.

Curiosity getting the better of you led to you escaping your blankets and following the source of the footsteps. Reaching the top of the building you saw Jason with his back turned to you. Telling it was him by the leather jacket he was wearing. Noticing as he lifted his hand occasionally to his mouth.

Upon coming closer you saw the cigarette in his hand.

“Sorry, I guess I wasn’t as quiet as I was trying to be” he looked over his shoulder at you. His voice startling you. But you shook it off and leaned against the ledge next to him. Your arms only a few inches from his.

“Couldn’t sleep” You shrugged, looking out at the city skyline. “What city are we in?”

“Coast city” He answered before taking another drag of his cigarette.

“It’s beautiful” eyes scanning from right to left. You noticed Jason shift next to you. Looking over you saw him present a box to you, “Want one?”

You examined the box which turned out to be a cigarette box. Hesitantly you took the box from his hands and tapped the end making one slide out. Handing the box back he offered you a light. You’d never had a cigarette before but for some reason the tobacco just sounded appealing.

Taking your first drag of one, you began hacking. Jason couldn’t hold back the chuckle that escaped his throat, “You didn’t say you were a first timer.” Looking over to see a smile had taken over his features.

“Yeah well they didn’t exactly give us such luxuries” You chuckled and he nodded. Taking another drag, doing it correctly this time. Immediately feeling a sense of relaxation, it not only helping your physical muscles but your mental state.

“Wow, it’s actually helping with the voices” you muttered to yourself. Though Jason heard it, “Do you hear them often?” he was still watching you.

Turning your head to meet his eyes, “More often than not” fiddling with the stick in your hand. “No matter what it feels like they are always there in the back of my head.”

“I kind of understand that. When I came out of the pit, I heard voices, or what I thought were voices. Maybe they were, maybe it was just my imagination.” he shrugged. You nodded, even though you didn’t know what this ‘pit’ was.

“Yeah” sighing before bringing the cigarette to your lips once more. A comfortable silence falling between the both of you.

After a minute or so Jason broke the silence, “Hey um. You don’t have to answer this, but did you have any pre-existing conditions before the particle accelerator?” his eyes watching as your expression fell sombre.

“Um. Kind of. I was beginning to develop schizophrenia. It was very minor before the accelerator explosion, nothing anti-psychotics couldn’t handle. But the night of the accelerator explosion there were also some other mental things going on that night. I’d rather not talk about that though. Everything got enhanced from it, that was when I started to actually hear and kind of feel the voices. But the outbursts became less common and I would be able to tell when they were coming. In a way it made it both worse and. better.” Nervously scratching the back of your neck.

He nodded understandingly. “I’m sorry you had to go through all of that. We did a lot of monitoring of that group, I know everything they did. A person shouldn’t have to endure that.” his eyes diverted from yours, looking down at the concrete ledge.

Your eyes diverted to the same place. Remembering everything they would do. The beating, starving, rape, all of it. “Yeah, me too.” Feeling tears sting the corners of your eyes. Quickly you wiped them away before taking another breath of the tobacco. Silence falling over the both of you once more.

Jason watched you as you stared out at the city lights. Thinking about all the torture you must’ve gone through, how scary this must be for you. “[F/n] I want you to know that no matter what Kori, Roy, and I aren’t going to let anything happen to you. You’re safe here.”

You looked at him quickly, astonishment painted plainly on your face. Processing what he said you nodded.

“Come on, you should get some rest” nodding his head in the direction of the fire escape after putting his cigarette out. You nodded, putting your own out before following him.

He helped you back down, though before you both entered the apartment he stopped and looked at you. “Since you told me about some things about you tonight. How about we do this again tomorrow night, there are some things about me I’d like you to know as well.” This caught you by surprise, but smiling you answered “Sure.”

He smiled to before pushing the window open, letting you go in first. When you were in he didn’t take long to follow. Snuggling back into the blankets on the couch as he went to his room, but before going in he said “Goodnight [F/n]”

You stayed hidden by the back of the couch and answered, “Goodnight Jason” a smile gracing your lips. Thinking that there was something different about him, a good different. The kind of good that gave you butterflies in your stomach and made your heart tingle. Though you forced yourself to suppress these thoughts so you could finally allow yourself to sleep.

* * *

When you woke up the next morning you were a bit taken aback. Having to reprocess everything that happened the prior day. The final thing to flash in your memory was that cigarette with Jason.

Letting out a sigh while sitting up. It was still early and the Outlaws were all still asleep. Not exactly sure what to do you just wandered around the area, looking at the multiple novels on the bookshelf.

Sliding one from its place. ‘The Great Gatsby’ the title read. You didn’t have much of an education, having been taken when you were young. Having only basic math and reading skills, skimming through the pages but there were many words you didn’t fully comprehend.

“A classic” jumping at the unfamiliar voice you heard. Quickly turning to see Batman and The Green Arrow standing in the room.

“Don’t scare the poor kid Bats” Green Arrow commented. You gave him a weak smile. Soon enough you heard a door open.

“Just let yourself in why don’t ya” Seeing Roy come into the room. “Good to see you to Roy” he walked over to him. Putting a hand on his shoulder, you smiled at the relationship.

“Let me get the others” Roy said before heading away from the three of you. Though you couldn’t help but feel intimidated, Batman hadn’t taken his eyes off of you. Did he find you a threat?

Shifting uncomfortably before placing the book back on the shelf. Beginning to hear the voices again, whispering terrible things to you. That’s one thing you never want to tell them about. The things the voices said.

You visibly winced at the words. ‘Kill. It’s the only way to survive. Take them now.’ The faint whisper said to you. “Just stop” whispering to yourself.

“Is something wrong?” The same voice said. You turned and shook your head. Feeling relief when the others came into the room.

The three looked at you, sensing the discomfort. “Let’s talk in here, just give us a minute” Roy gestured to the kitchen. The two went onto the kitchen leaving you with Roy, Kori, and Jason.

“Are you alright?” Kori came up in front of you.

“I uh. I don’t really know. It’s just the voices they.. never mind it’s dumb” you sputtered, not knowing how to communicate what the voices just told you without giving up what they said.

“You don’t have to be afraid to tell us” Roy followed, putting a hand on your shoulder. Flinching slightly before relaxing under his hand.

“I’d just, I’d rather not.” Looking over to Jason pleadingly. He took notice, “It’s alright you can tell us when you’re ready” stepping up. Allowing you to breath a relieved sigh.

They looked back at Jason before returning their attention to you. “Well no matter what we’ll be here every step of the way. Don’t be afraid to ask us for anything or say that you’re uncomfortable.” Kori smiled at you warmly.

“Thank you guys. I really appreciate everything you’re doing for me.” Smiling at the three. Roy smiled wide,”It may only be a day but you’re already apart of the family my friend” he laughed. Making you and Kori smile. Noticing a smile pull at the corner of his lips.

“We’ll be right in here. If you want you can come join us but no pressure” Roy said ruffling your hair. You were already beginning to get used to his actions.

After that the three went into the kitchen.

Sitting in the couch, letting out a relieved breath. It felt like Batman could see right through you but they really just seemed to know how to calm you down. Running a hand through your hair before thinking you were really going to like it here.

* * *

In the kitchen the five had all gotten to talking.

“What do you mean she has schizophrenia? I thought she said it was from the powers.” Roy looked at Jason confused.

“I don’t know it seems she had a minor case of it and the dark matter enhanced it in someway. Since then she’s had those outbursts less I guess but the voices got worse.” Jason looked around at the group.

“We should do some sort of testing. Figure out if this is a meta gene or something different” Oliver suggested.

“What? No! This girl has been poked and prodded like an animal for years there’s no way we’re going to do the same thing to her.” Jason objected, the other two nodding.

“How do you know you can even trust her?” Bruce asked sternly. Staring down the three.

“I don’t mind tests” they all turned to see you in the doorway. No one said anything so you continued, “I understand you need a reason to trust me, so let this be that. I’m used to the needles” you shrugged with a small smile.

“[F/n] you don’t have to” Kori walked over to you.

“It’s fine, honestly I’d like to know what the cause of all this is as well. I’m sitting in the dark here” your tone was surprisingly calm and rational.

“We have the equipment with us. It’s just a simple blood draw and maybe a few other things” Green Arrow looked over to you.

Nodding you sat on a chair in the kitchen and held out your arm for their test as they got things prepared.

Kori, Roy, and Jason came over to you. “Are you sure about this?” Jason asked, concern laced in his voice. You nodded “Yeah, it’s about time I know where all of this is coming from.”

They all exchanged a look before letting out a collective sigh. “Alright, but we’re not going anywhere. If you ever want to back out of this we’ll make sure they stop” Roy affirmed making a smile pull at your lips.

“We will let them get started but if you want I can stand over here with you.” Kori offered. You smiled at her “Yeah I’d appreciate that.” She took your hand, “Any nervousness and I will be right here”

Jason and Roy went and stood by the wall, out of the way.

‘How can she be so calm about this? After everything she’s gone through. Just accepts these tests. I don’t get it’ Jason said. “She’s strongly” Roy answered looking at Jason

But Jason’s eyes never left you. They were Looking for some physical tell, some hint that you didn’t want this and he’d pull the plug.

But there was nothing. Nothing but calm. However we all know the phrase

_‘The calm before the storm’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate any comments or kudos!! I love to hear from you guys! <3


	4. PTSD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had a bit of trouble getting this done, just experienced a bit of writers block with it. I hope you guys like it!
> 
> Italicized = Flashback
> 
> Warnings: Mental Illness (PTSD), Mentions of abuse, flashback to abuse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Key:  
> [F/n] - First name  
> [L/n] - Last name  
> [h/c] - Hair Color  
> [e/c] - Eye Color

The way the needle slid into your skin felt exactly like it did when your captors used to drug you. A prick of pain that never changes no matter how many times it happens. You felt the blood begin to be pulled from the vein. As the blood began to slip away so did your connection to your mind.

_You struggled against the men holding you down. A blood curdling scream erupted from your throat, you’re having one of your episodes that accompany the voices. They screamed in your head as you thrashed and fought._

_“Hold her still!” A man yelled, flicking a syringe that had an antipsychotic in it._

_“We can’t! The crazy bitch is strong!” One of the lackeys growled as you only thrashed and screamed harder.  “Then knock some sense into her!” The man wielding the syringe yelled again._

_One of the men grabbed the back of your neck while the other sent a slug across your cheek. The pain made you freeze enough for the man to plunge the syringe into into your vein. The sedative knocking you out and the drug blocking out the voices._

“[F/n]!” Feeling a jolt of someone shaking your shoulder brought you back. The moment you snapped back to reality you yanked the needle IV out of your arm. Standing so fast the chair toppled over behind you. Now realizing your labored breathing and the thin layer of sweat on your brow.

Scanning the room you saw them all staring at you. Noticing how Jason and Roy were now in front of you rather than the wall. Concluding that one of them or Kori had been the one to snap you out of the flashback. Feeling as their eye bore into your skin, “W-why are you staring at me? W-why are you..?” trailing off to catch your breath.

Not being able to take their eyes anymore you pushed by them all and ran out of the apartment. Faintly hearing someone yell for you to ‘wait,’ but you were too far to hear who it was.

Stomping down the stairs to reach the main doors to the apartment building. Rushing out you picked a direction and just ran. Following wherever the sidewalk took you. The images of the flashback rushing through your head, not realizing the gash you caused by yanking out the IV earlier. Blood stained the sleeve of the sweater Kori lent you.

Winding a corner into an alley you pressed your back against the brick wall, struggling to get air into your lungs. Feeling tears pool into your eyes, letting out a small whimper you squatted down, hiding your face in your hands. Small whimpers and cries escaping your throat.

Wiping the tears from your face, you stood up. Tucking your hands in your pockets while exiting the alleyway. Eyes searching the surrounding to only discover you were lost. You had been running mindlessly, not knowing exactly what triggered that fight or flight response.

Looking down, noticing the blood on the sweater. You rolled up your sleeve so the blood wasn’t visible any longer.  Letting out a sigh you looked side to side before picking a direction and beginning to walk. Hands shoved further in your pockets, bowing your head to avoid eye contact with passersby. Walking what felt like the whole city as daylight passed over your head. Watching as the sky would begin to darken gradually as the sun crossed the sky. 

* * *

Jason had run out after you, finding the sidewalk busy but without you on it. Swearing to himself he heard Roy and Kori coming out after him. “You guys search that way, I’ll go this way” he called before running off. Roy and Kori couldn’t get a single word in, it’s strange for him to act this impulsive. Yes, Jason works on instinct but he’s usually more calculated. Roy and Kori simply exchanged a look, running in the direction they were told.

They need to find you and fast. With your powers being unstable who knows what could set them off.

“Dammit Kori what have we done? We promised to protect her and now she’s lost in the city. Some protectors we are.” Roy growled, beating himself up over the matter. They promised to protect you and now, you’re lost in the city somewhere.

“You mustn’t think like that Roy. We will find her. There wasn’t any stopping her from those tests. Now let’s think, if you needed to calm down, where would you go in Coast City?” She questioned as they continued to look. Roy smiled, “Kori you’re a genius! Let’s go!” diverting their direction toward the coast. Something about the ocean seemed to calm almost anyone down, this was the best lead they had.

They came up to a nearby beach, taking the path that would’ve been the most likely for you to have taken. Both sets of eyes scanned the beach until Kori’s gaze landed on your back. “There” she pointed, seeing you with your knees pulled to your chest. Just staring out at the endless blue. The sun was setting, leaving the sky a mix of soft pinks and reds. It was very relaxing, they could see why you were drawn here.

Approaching you cautiously, Kori broke you out of your trance gently. “[F/n]” she placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. Though your body acted on it’s own as you jerked away, quickly turning to face them. Breathing labored like earlier, they had just pulled you out of another flashback. One back to a night your captors had you ‘working.’

“Easy, it’s just us” Roy spoke comfortingly, trying to calm your nerves. It worked, your breathing leveled while looking at the two people you consider friends. “[F/n] are you alright? What happened?” he asked.

You simply diverted your eyes, “I-I don’t want to talk about it.” Scratching at your arm nervously. They were suspicious, why couldn’t they get you to open up? But all honesty this is only your second day staying with them. It’s not surprising you’re being reserved, they just worry about you.

Kori’s eyes traced down your arms, vision catching the blood. “Oh my gosh!” she took your arm and pushed the sleeve up, revealing a semi deep gash. “Let’s get you back to the apartment and get this cleaned up.” She offered. Hesitantly you nodded.

They led you back to the apartment. Roy had called Jason and told him to meet them there. You were able to hear how frantic Jason was over the phone, was he really that worried about _you_? Jason was the one you’ve gotten closest to so far, but you didn’t think that he cared so much.

Coming into the apartment you heard boots bounding. Soon enough you were engulfed in a hug and by that familiar scent of cigarettes, gun powder, and green apple. A once again, rather comforting combination.

You wanted nothing more to relish in Jason’s scent but you couldn’t. Pushing out of his arms you smiled shyly before going past him and into the bathroom. You couldn’t face them right now, especially having heard Batman and Green Arrow in the apartment when you returned. You couldn’t face the people you consider friends, how could you face those two?

Kori and Roy stared at Jason as you walked by him. He rose an eyebrow at them “What?” They just smirked and shrugged before meeting Bruce and Oli in the living room.

“You found her?” Oliver asked with his bow slung over his shoulder. Roy nodded, “Yeah, we found her at the beach. She was zoning, I’m worried about her.”

“Well, from the way she had that attack, it seems like she has PTSD.” Oliver offered up an explanation. “That makes sense, she did go through hell and back.” Jason stated while looking over at his teammates. “What about the tests? Did you get anything from them?”

Bruce nodded, “She’s definitely a meta, but the gene isn’t enhancing her physically, more mentally. Which might be another explanation of these voices she has been hearing.” He stated bluntly. Eyes staying glued on Jason before both his and Oliver’s alerts went off, telling them the league needs them.

“We’ll tell her. You both go.” Roy nodded before the two made their leave. Of course they used the window.

“Who should tell [F/n]?” Kori asked looking at the boys. “Jay I think you should, you have her trust the most.” Roy appealed while looking at the marksman. Jason nodded before heading to the bathroom door, he knocked lightly, Roy and Kori only a few feet behind him. When you didn’t answer he knocked on the door again and called your name. No answer again.

He sighed, turning the knob to see it was unlocked, “[F/n] I’m coming in” he called before peering his head in. Finding the bathroom empty “What the hell?” whispering while walking in.

“Where is she now?” Roy looked around the empty bathroom, concern evident in his voice. Jason stuck his head out the open window, seeing the fire escape ladders leading up to the roof down. “I know where she is, I’ll be right back” Jason grunted while pulling himself out the window and onto the fire escape.

He climbed the ladders, peeking his head over the ledge. Noticing you sitting on the ledge with your knees pulled to your chest, bringing a cigarette to and from your lips. He had left a pack and lighter up here. Having told you about it the prior night.

Carefully he came up beside you, “May I?” he questioned pointing to the box. You gestured to it “They’re yours.” He chuckled taking one out and lighting it up. You both stayed there in a comfortable silence, enjoying the taste the tobacco left on your tongue.

“They got the results” Jason broke the silence as you let out the drag you just took. “Yeah? What’d they say?”  asking meekly. “It’s positive you’re a meta, but your powers are focused mentally more than physically.” he explained simply. Making it short and sweet for you. Jason examined your face as silence fell between you once more. Telling by the look in your face that you were contemplating or remembering something.

“You know, I died once” tilting his head towards you. Your eyes shot to meet his, “You what?” confusion laced in your tone. Jason simply nodded, “It was when I was still Robin. Bats saved me from the streets, but the Joker, he tricked me into coming to find my mother but it was a trap. I ended up beaten and bloodied with a crowbar on the floor of an abandoned warehouse. Then after I passed I was revived with the Lazarus Pit in Nanda Parbat. Since then I’ve taken a different approach to serving justice, I’m not afraid to take a life if need be. Not that I try to, it’s only if it’s necessary.” His eyes diverting down to his hands.

“Like the man that kept me?” You questioned, [e/c] eyes locked on him. He nodded, “It was either shoot him or let him shoot you. It wasn’t a hard decision.” His comment made you blush. “[F/n] I know what it feels like to feel unwanted, to feel lost and cast out. Trust me I do, so I want you to know that no matter what you can talk to me.” He took your hand in his, “You’re important to me-I mean us. Roy, Kori, and I.”

The blush burned bright red on your face, you simply nodded, not trusting your voice. “Thank you Jason, that means a lot. You’re important to me too.” Gently smiling at him.

He nodded, “Alright. Well, we should be getting back inside before it gets too cold. Plus Roy and Kori are worried about you. Plus lets get that gash bandaged.” Jason smiled at you. Snuffing out your cigarette and re-hiding the box you followed him back down the fire escape. Having a newfound trust in Jason, now knowing his past. When you got back into the apartment, Roy and Kori ended up telling you about their pasts and how they all became the Outlaws as well. It felt nice knowing all of this about them. It made things more intimate between the four of you. It makes you feel safe. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm appreciative of anything you guys have to say loves! <33


	5. Adjusting to Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys so here is chapter 5! I made it as a bit of a more fun chapter. Just the reader hanging out with the outlaws and making it a bit of a plot oriented chapter, not a lot of dialogue. Its a light chapter compared to the others I think. I’m kind of on the fence about it so if you guys liked it I’d love to know. Thanks loves, hope you enjoy. Love ya! <3
> 
> Warning: Mentions of mental illness

After that night you gained an immense trust in the trio. Jason, Roy, and Kori became your main support system. Always there if you needed anything. Having given you a spare room they had for storage, it only having any extra ammo, arrows, guns, the usual vigilante needs. It’s nice having that space, being able to have a place to be alone and calm down if your powers act up.

You still frequently hear the voices and have flashbacks from your PTSD. However, your powers were beginning to become completely under your control and you didn’t flinch like you used to when someone would comes near you. The only thing sticking with you from your past were the flashbacks. Having done a lot of training with Kori, of whom’s abilities were the closest to yours. Though there has had to be some self training due to the three not having the knowledge of how to help with those powers like the energy pulses you could let out. Batman had offered to assist in training you, but you told him the Outlaws were taking care of you and you didn’t want to burden him. He has a whole city and world to worry about, you’re just fine. Plus you trust them more than you trust Batman.

Training was hard. Jason and Roy had also taken up teaching you some hand to hand combat, and taught you to shoot both a gun and bow. Sometimes it would stress you the hell out, often leading to one of your and Jason’s regular talks on the roof while having a smoke. Jason really had taken a large part in helping your adjustment to this life. Especially with your education.

You had been taken before you could graduate, leading to just knowing the basics. Jason had taken to helping you improve with subjects like english, literature, some history. He’s quite intelligent. Often you both would sit on the couch, he’d watch over your shoulder as you read. Explaining what certain parts of a book meant or explaining a word you didn’t know.

Jason loves teaching you. Loving to just watch as you read, the way your eyebrows furrow when you’re trying to figure a portion of the plot out. He was really beginning to have strong feelings for you. There’s just a strength and adoration about you he can’t shake.

These feelings did not go unnoticed by Roy and Kori. They absolutely adore that Jason is smitten with you! They do not stop teasing him about it. Jason would end up swinging his arm behind the couch when reading with you, it resting behind your back. When they would see that they’d always just smirk at him, earning a glare from the marksman.

They would take every opportunity they had to tease Jason. It’s not often they get a chance too, Jason is known to be smooth when it comes to women. But there’s just something about him having a ‘crush’ that Roy and Kori find adorably hilarious.

Today they had taken a special interest in teasing them. Now that you had your powers under control they thought it would be safe to show you around Coast City, and Kori was excited to go shopping with you. Hell, she was just excited to have another girl around.

Arriving at the mall, Roy and Kori claimed to be starving and went off toward the food court. Leaving you and Jason on your own. He shook his head chuckling, “Well, I should’ve expected that. Come on there’s a store I want to show you.” Jason smiled while putting his hands in his pockets.

Following him through the large building he led you into a small book store. “This is where I get most of my books” his eyes skimmed over the many shelves. He witnessed as you left his side and began to run your hand over the books. For a while he just stood watching you, admiring the way you would delicately take a book of the shelf and look it over before putting it back. Occasionally checking out the first page.

Eventually shaking himself out of his enchantment before going around to look for a certain book he was searching for. Occasionally he would look over to you, making sure you were still there and okay. Finding his book he walked up behind you, noticing you reading the back of a book, recognizing it as _Pride and Prejudice_.

“Find something you like?” His low voice made you jump, realizing who it was you laughed and held your chest. “Gosh, you scared me Jay.” Smiling while looking back at the book, realizing the name you just used. “Oh gosh I’m sorry, I uh I didn’t mean to” panicking while looking back to him. Seeing a light pink dust his cheeks, “No, no. It’s okay, you can call me that. I mean Roy calls me ‘Jaybird’ so I don’t mind” he smiled reassuringly.

Grinning sheepishly at your feet, you nodded. Looking up at him you both started to laugh a bit. Though it was cut off by the sound of Roy yelling, “Are you two nerds done?” Rolling your eyes you both exited the store after paying, you taking a spot next to Kori as you walked. Not noticing Roy throw an arm around Jason and ruffle his hair teasingly. Then Jason pushing him off.

Kori led you into about every store. You needed this trip, having been living off hand-me-downs from her. She helped you pick out shorts, shirts, skirts, dresses, the whole nine yards. Her final stop being the one she had been waiting for. Excitedly she dragged you into Victoria Secret, which was indeed a rather needed trip.

Usually Jason wouldn’t even flinch, Kori had dragged him and Roy into this store nearly a hundred times. But with the thought of being in the store with _you_ made his cheeks heat up and his heart quicken, fighting it back as to not tip off his teammates.

You and Kori walked and looked around the store, Jason and Roy idly following. Jason avidly avoiding eye contact with you. “See anything you like Jaybird, on a certain someone” Roy nudged him, wearing a shit eating grin. “Fuck you Harper” Jason glared at the archer before walking off to follow you and Kori once more. Roy chuckled running after him.

Catching up to you both. Continuing to look around, but you eventually convinced Kori you had what you needed and that you should go. She was hesitant but finally agreed, paying before heading out of the store. Jason breathed a sigh of relief. It was beginning to get dark so you all decided to make the walk back to the apartment.

You were a bit down about having to go back. Knowing they had a mission tonight, meaning you’d be on your own until the following day. Jason must’ve noticed this, “Hey, wanna have a smoke when we get back?” Meeting his blue hues you nodded before diverting your eyes back to the sidewalk in front of you.

Staying silent the rest of the way to the apartment. It honestly felt as if you were out during the entire walk. For some reason you barely remembered it, feeling like you zoned out the whole time. It was strange. It felt like something was trying to push your consciousness out and replace it with something else. It freaked you out a bit but you shook it off when reaching the apartments.  

The others noticed it too but didn’t bring it up, figuring you were just thinking about something. Jason thought maybe he’d talk to you about it when you got back. And he did, it was the first thing he brought up when you both lit your cigarettes.

“You were quiet on the way home. Is something wrong?” He asked, letting out the smoke. “Just tired is all” you lied with a shrug. “It didn’t seem like you were tired. [F/n] I’m serious, is something wrong?” His expression showing one of worry.

“Jason, I’m fine really. I was, am, just tired, and a bit overwhelmed from all the people. I’ll be fine after some sleep. I might be a little lonely tonight after having you three around but I’ll be okay.” Smiling a reassuring smile at him. His shoulders fell as he sighed, “Okay, but if you need anything we’re just a call away. It’s your first time on your own since everything so, if you want one of us to stay.” You sent a look that said ‘I’ll be fine’ and he raised his hands in defeat. “Alright Alright” Saying before taking another drag. You shook your head smiling, flattered by his worry.

“Hey guys! We gotta go!” You could hear Roy yell from the fire escape. Both turning at the same time to see him poking his head up. “You better go, I’m going to finish this” holding your cigarette up. “Alright, see you tomorrow. We’ll keep you updated.” Jason smiled before putting out his cigarette and jogging over to Roy. Leaving you to lean against the ledge, taking another drag of your cigarette.

Standing there you thought of what happened earlier. _‘What was all that zoning about? That was a first.’_ Thinking to yourself. Bringing the cigarette to your lips again. _‘It’s probably nothing.’_


	6. Pride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ch. 6! Sorry it took a while to get it out and I hope you guys like it! I loved writing it because I haven’t written for this series for a while. I hope you loves love it! Let me know what you loves think! Enjoy!
> 
> Italicized = Flashback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Mentions of rape and assault, hearing whispers, mental illness, flashbacks to abuse

After they left that night you stayed on the roof, finishing your cigarette while watching the city lights. Listening to the voices whispering in your ears. Blowing out a puff of smoke you took in the feeling of the warm breeze tickle your skin. Letting out a breath you snuffed out your cigarette. Thoughts of the day rushed through your memory, shopping with Kori, getting samples with Roy, the bookstore with Jason. Is this what it’s like to have a normal life? Hanging out with your friends and enjoying life? You’d never enjoyed your life until now.

Taking a deep breath you took in the scent of the city with a hint of the ocean which was just a few miles away. Sighing you relaxed against the ledge, thinking _‘everything’s going to be alright.’_

Saying goodnight to the city lights you turned around and headed to the fire escape. Climbing down you slipped in your window, closing it behind you and flipping the lock. Looking into the empty apartment a familiar, haunting, feeling of loneliness appeared in your heart. You hadn’t felt this in months, not since you were saved by Jason, Roy, and Kori.

Walking in the kitchen you chuckled at what was at the counter. Jason had left a note reminding you to eat and that there are leftovers in the fridge. “Such a worrier” mumbling to yourself before grabbing some left over chinese from the fridge. As it warmed up in the microwave you grabbed your book you had gotten earlier with Jason and flipped it to the first page. Reading the opening line aloud: _“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”_

“Hmm, ‘want of a wife.’” Repeating before the microwave went off. Setting the book aside you took out the food and grabbed a fork. Leaning against the counter you held the book in front of your face with one hand while the other scooped food up on the fork and into your mouth. Finishing up you tossed the dishes in the sink and marked your page before heading into your room to get ready for bed. After changing and brushing your teeth you nestled into your bed sheets. Missing saying ‘goodnight’ to Roy, Kori, and Jason. Along with the way one of them would always check up on you before the lot went to bed. Who where you kidding? They’re all worriers.

Falling asleep you had a dreamless night. Feeling as if you had just fallen asleep minutes prior, but light was peeking through your window, telling you it was morning. Slipping from your bed you found the apartment still empty, checking each of their rooms to find them abandoned. When checking Jason’s room you found some papers pertaining to the mission they were on now. Flipping through the pages you skimmed the text and pictures, though looking deeper into the pictures, it brought back terrifying memories.

_“Would you restrain the little bitch already?!” A man yelled, your lungs burned from screaming. You felt belts tighten around your wrists and legs, strapping you to a chair. Your screaming continued until one of the men slapped you across your cheek, silencing you long enough to put tape over your mouth._

_Seconds later a metal door was heard opening and slamming shut. A large man with dark hair and cold grey eyes appeared in front of you. A smirk that showed his yellowing teeth played on his vile features. “Well aren’t you a pretty one? My names King and we’re going to have some fun today princess.”_

_Your stomach turned at the way he eyed you and you felt the need to be sick. He walked over to a table with a bunch of tools. His hands hovered over them. “Now you can listen and behave, or you can be in a whole world of pain.” Tears streamed down your face as you watched him. You nodded as if saying you would behave. Smiling he removed the tape from your mouth. Crouching in front of you, his hand resting on your thigh, making you flinch. “Please” you begged, “Please don’t hurt me.”_

_“Oh I’m not gonna hurt you, princess.” His other hand held your chin before moving down your chest. That made you fight your bonds yelling “No! Stop! Don’t touch me!” His smirk dropped at your fighting. “Hard way it is” he growled before grabbing a prod and plunging it into your side, it sending electricity through you._

The jolt brought you back to reality as you jumped away from the pictures of the place where they break the girls and boys they kidnap. Break them to do their bidding, to be bought and sold. Breathing felt like the hardest thing on the planet, hands running through your hair before your knees buckled under you. A sob escaping your throat, your hand covering your mouth to muffle it. You weren’t sure how long you were crumpled on the floor, time seemed to stand still as your demons and nightmares came flooding back.

Not snapping out of it until hearing the apartment door open. Quickly, you wiped your cheeks and eyes. Composing yourself before walking out of the room. “[F/n]!” Kori cheered before tackling you into a hug. “Welcome home” but your reply was flat and void of any emotion. Kori looked at you quizzically but you shook it off. “Did you guys take the place down?” Asking as you walked away from her.

“Um we were just surveilling last night. Tonight we’re taking it down.” Jason answered. You turned to Jason, “I’m going with you.”

They all were shocked at your outburst. “No, nope, not gonna happen.” Jason shook his head. “Why not?!”

“[F/n] you’re not ready” Roy interjected. Your blood began to boil, “I’m going and you can’t stop me!” Yelling at them all. “It’s too dangerous” Kori put a hand on your shoulder of which you swatted away. “And I can handle myself! I’m going!”

“You’re not” Jason shook his head with his arms crossed. “And who’s gonna stop me? You? Going to put a bullet in me? I’m used to it.” At that you turned around and pushed the window open, in desperate need of a smoke you climbed the fire escape.

Kori, Roy, and Jason exchanged a look. Sighing Jason went after you, slipping out on the fire escape. When he met you on the roof you already had a lit cigarette between your lips. “[F/n]” calling as he met your side. Looking at you, he waited for answers.

Sighing you turned to him, not meeting his eyes. “I just… I just need to go Jason. I have too.”

“Why?”

“Why?” You scoffed, meeting his blue hues with your own [e/c] ones. “Because… Because those bastards raped and tortured me. I want to be the ones to beat them to a bloody pulp, to break them the way they broke me.” You growled through grit teeth. Your tone was dangerously low and your fists were clenched so hard your knuckles turned white. If Jason didn’t know better, he’d think he was looking at some complete other person.

Jason stared at you, recognizing that look, that anger, he knew this was important. “Fine, but one condition. You’re with me the entire time. You never leave my side, understand?”

You nodded and his shoulders relaxed. He leaned against the ledge, “Got anymore of those?” Chuckling you handed him the pack. Turning he faced you, the cigarette hanging loosely between his lips. Handing you the pack back you returned it to it’s hiding place on the roof, walking in front of  him you held your lighter to his mouth. Your eyes flickered to his after lighting it, just now noticing how close you both were.

His eyes were trained on your lips before his flickered to yours. Both looking in each other’s eyes for a few seconds before he cleared his throat and leaned back against the ledge. You looked back out at the city, “I.. I didn’t mean to go off on you. I just, saw the pictures on your desk and recognized the place.” Shrugging before taking a drag of your cigarette.

“That’s where they break the people they kidnap?” He asked, looking over to you. You nodded in response, not having the courage to look over at him. “They did terrible things.” Your voice came out as a barely audible whisper, remembering the flashback you had. “I’m so—” He tried to say but you cut him off. “Please, don’t.” He nodded, before sighing. Snuffing out his cigarette, “If you’re coming we have to prep you.” You turned to him and followed his action of snuffing out the cigarette. “Let’s do this.”

Jason lead you back into the apartment. Roy and Kori were on the fence about allowing you on the mission but once you told them about what happens there, they understood. They briefed you on everything they had learned the prior night and Jason showed you the route you’d be accompanying him on. That lead all the way up until it was time to leave.

You were nervous, heart pounding while staring at your reflection in the mirror. The whispers ever so slightly in your ears. Your suit was black with [f/c] highlights. A domino mask covered your eyes and your hair was tied out of your face. A gun lay in a holster on your hip in case of emergency and a knife in the holster of your boot. You looked like a hero. Someone completely different. A new person entirely, someone stronger, more powerful, someone who could make a difference. For the first time in your life, you felt pride.

Nothing tore you out of your state or silenced the voices until a knock resounded on your door. “[F/n], you ready?” Kori asked as she came in the room. You nodded turning to her, “Do I fit the part?” She smiled and nodded, “[S/h/n] is going to be a force to be reckon with.” Kori’s encouraging words made the pride swell in your chest more.

Kori gestured for you to follow her and with a deep inhale and exhale you did, walking out into the living room where Jason and Roy saw you for the first time as [S/h/n]. “Whoa [F/n], lookin’ good.” Roy complemented soon after receiving a glare from Jason that went unnoticed by you. Looking at Roy you thanked him but your attention diverted to Jason, “What about you Jay? Good?” gesturing to yourself.

“Uhh” his mouth all of a sudden became dry and his two other teammates snickered. “Yeah, yeah you look great [F/n]. Really great.” You smiled at his words and nodded, that’s when Roy stood up. “Alright, now that we’re done fawning over [F/n]…Jason” He coughed, earning another glare from the marksman. “Let’s go kick some ass” Roy grinned and jumped out onto the fire escape. Kori close behind him.

Taking another calming deep breath, you went to follow. Though you were stopped by a hand on your shoulder, “Don’t worry, you can handle this.” Jason said as you turned to him. A small smile was quirked on his lips, and his eyes held a sort of adoration. “You’ll do great, just stay calm and focus. I’ll be right beside you.”

Grinning you gave him a confident nod, “I know, thanks Jay.”

“No problem, now let’s move out.” He gave your shoulder a light squeeze before heading out the window with you close on his trail. A smile adhered your features, they really believe in you.


	7. Odd Happenings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 7!! Chapter 8 is actually about halfway done too. Thank you 5 hour flight! Lmao, hope you guy love this new chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Hearing voices, blacking out, making out.
> 
> [s/h/n] - Superhero Name

You ran across the rooftops, close on Jason & Roy’s 6. Kori flew ahead to make sure your pathway was clear. A surge of adrenaline coursed through your veins as the warm coastal air wisped by with each jump to a new roof top. A grin formed on your lips as your feet met the concrete roof of an apartment building. You could get used to this.

Watching the two men in front of you, noticing them glancing back every so often to make sure you were still close. Which you were every time they checked. “Don’t worry boys I’m still here.” You called into your com, earning a chuckle from them both. “Just checking newbie” Roy teased.

Noticing them slowing down, you did as well until meeting their side. “So, this is it?” Asking while Kori flew back over to you all. “What’s the situation in there?” Jason asked. “As we suspected, same as yesterday. One guard on the exits, regular changes.”

Jason nodded. “Okay, Roy you’re taking the west side, Kori the east. [F/n] and I will take the north. We stay on coms, our goal is to get all of the captives out unhurt. Contact authorities when we have them out and the police will handle the men holding them. Nothing fatal tonight unless it’s necessary, we don’t need B on our asses again. Sound good?”

You had never seen Jason in charge like this, it was a whole new side to him. You liked it, he was a natural born leader it seemed. Roy smiled “You got it Jaybird” He saluted. Kori nodded, giggling at Roy’s antics, “Yes sir!” Jason rolled his eyes, motioning for you to follow him as the others went their respective ways.

Following Jason you stayed close to his back, observing your surroundings as he opened a window. You both slid in soundlessly. He motioned with his hand again. Walking down the corridor all you could hear were your own footsteps and the ever constant whispers in your skull. Though that isn’t what you were focused on.

The place hadn’t changed since when you were there. The same smell of metal and like something was rotting within the walls emanated from every surface. The cement walls blocked out any sort of noise, whether that be the cries of the people trapped there, or the screams of the ones they were breaking. The silence used to be comforting to you, but now it just brought back horrid memories of a time you would rather forget. Times where your mind felt like it had more than one person in it, and your body wasn’t yours. It was just merchandise.

However, you aren’t that person anymore. You’re here to help people with your friends. Help people that are being treated the way you were treated. Looking down at your hands, you noticed the magic flowing around them. You’re not merchandise, you are a weapon. A living weapon and you weren’t going to let anyone else be treated as if they’re nothing.

Jason peered back at you, noticing the tenseness in your muscles and expression. He’d never seen you so serious. “[s/h/n]” He caught your attention. Eyes shooting to his helmet. “Are you okay?” You nodded in response, “Yeah, I’m good.” Jason seemed unsure as he turned back to lead the way, there was something off about you right now but he couldn’t put a finger on it.

As they rounded a corner you started hearing voices. Not ones in your head.. Actual voices. Peering around the corner, Jason saw two guards standing in front of a metal door. He picked up a stone and threw it into the hallway, attracting the attention of the guards. One of them came over, his gun drawn. Jason stayed crouched down and you behind him. Then the barrel of the guards gun came into view. Jason swiftly grabbed it and yanked it forward before kicking the man against the wall.

The other guard started shooting but you ran out and created a forcefield, protecting Jason. Hearing the gun click and you knew he was out of bullets. With a circle of your arm the shield turned into a bolt of energy, thrusting your arm it hit the man. Effectively knocking him on to the ground, the impact making him lose consciousness.

“Nice work” Jason complimented as he came to your side. “Let’s keep moving.” He ran up to the door, shooting the lock and pulling the door open. It door just led to another circuit of hallways. You fought guards here and there, they weren’t much of a challenge to you both. Jason could have handled them himself easily.

Finally after a while Roy and Kori came through the coms saying they had all of the captives out, making you wonder where you and Jason were currently headed. “Ja- I mean, Red Hood where are we going if they got all the hostages out?”

Jason turned to you, “After the guy who was ‘King’s second in command. He took over after he was killed.” Jason explained as you stopped in front of another door. “And he’s just in here.” You recognized that door. How could you forget it. Your eyes darkened, “I know this room.” Jason nodded and pulled out his gun to take out the lock. “Ready?” You nodded, magic forming around your hands.

The last thing you remember is the sound of the gunshot and the door opening. After that, it’s just red…

As soon as Jason kick the door open you turned into a complete different person. He watched as you beelined straight to the man in charge. He took out the other guards with non fatal gunshot wounds and a firm jab to the jaw. When he looked back at you, the man was pinned under you. Your hand was around his throat as you barraged him with blows to the face. You were going to kill him.

Jason ran over “[S/h/n] that’s enough!” When you didn’t stop he called to the others to get in there and pulled you off him. The man was unconscious at this point. You thrashed against him holding you down. Kori and Roy ran in, “What happened?”

“I don’t know! Roy help me out here, Kori get the girl out!” Jason yelled. Kori flew over where a girl was strapped to a chair. She got her out of her bonds and picked the girl up, “I’m going to get you to safety. Keep that blindfold on.” Kori said as the girl nodded  before she flew out of the room.

Roy had joined Jason in holding you down. “[S/h/n] stop!” Roy yelled but they couldn’t get through to you. “[F/n]! Look at me!” Jason finally yelled as he pulled off his helmet, meeting his eyes you regained your senses a gasp escaping your throat.. They let you go as the fighting had stopped. Looking around you were so confused. “What happened? Where is the girl?”

Jason furrowed his brow in confusion. “Do you not remember any of that?” Asking concerned. You shook your head “Remember any of what?” Looking between Jason and Roy. Eyes falling between them you saw the bloodied person lying there, luckily he was still breathing. “Did I?”

They helped you stand up as Jason nodded. You felt as though you were hyperventilating, “I-I can’t remember anything. Why can’t I remember?” Panicked tears streamed from your eyes before you buried your face in Jason’s chest. He was a little taken aback at your embracing him but he wrapped his arms around you nonetheless. He looked up at Roy.

Roy patted Jason’s back, “Get her home. Kori and I will stay until the authorities get here. “ He whispered before running out of the room. Jason slid his arm under your legs and picked you up bridal style. Hiding your face in his neck as he walked the way you both came. You felt the cool coastal air hit your face, the temperature had dropped. “I need you to hold on to me.” He spoke softly. Nodding, your arms wrapped around his neck before he pulled out his grappling hook and grappled to a nearby rooftop.

You kept your face hidden the entire time until he reached the fire escape to the apartment. He opened the window and climbed in with you still clinging to him. “[F/n]” he called your name delicately. “Do you want to talk about it?” You shook your head against his neck. He sighed and carried you into your room. Setting you down on the bed. “You should change” He said while walking over to your dresser. He found a pair of shorts he had seen you sleep in before and a t-shirt that he had actually lent you from when you first were staying with them.

He set the clothes on the foot of your bed. “I’m sorry” Mumbling into your pillow, looking up from the pillow in a way he could only see your [e/c] eyes. Still red and puffy. He shook his head, “There’s nothing to apologize for. Just get some rest okay?” You nodded and turned to face the wall. Hearing him exit the bedroom.

Jason waited until Roy and Kori got back. Though they didn’t stay long as Oliver had called Roy on an emergency in Central City. Kori and him had to be there by the morning so they came back to grab their things before heading out the door again.

Sighing Jason went to his room and peeled off his armor. Wincing at a few forming bruises. He showered before pulling on a pair of sweatpants. When he laid down to go to sleep he couldn’t help but think about what had happened and what caused it. Maybe there was a spore or something in the air? No that would have affected him and the others too. She got pricked and injected or something? No, she would’ve felt it. He ran multiple different scenarios in his head but none of them made sense. Giving up he decided he’d just sleep and think about it in the morning.

* * *

The next day, Jason didn’t hear you speak a word. He made breakfast but you didn’t so much as look at it. He tried to talk to you about what happened but you just wouldn’t answer his questions. You wouldn’t even let him near you. Honestly the blacking out just made you start to fully acknowledge some of the other problems. You had nightmares the whole night, and flashbacks throughout the day. The voices were screaming in your head again and you felt as vulnerable as the day you were saved by Jason and the others.

It was killing Jason to see you so depressed and in pain. He wanted to know why. He had grown to care for you so deeply, in a way he hadn’t cared about anyone. The silent treatment was making him fully realize that. He missed the sound of your voice and your laugh. The way your eyes lit up when you smiled. He just wanted something from you. Anything to show you were going to be alright.

But he didn’t get it.

For dinner he simply ordered a pizza, hoping the smell would attract your appetite. It got you out of your room but the minute your eyes landed on the food your stomach turned and all of a sudden it wasn’t appealing.

“[F/n] you really need to eat something.” Jason said, concern laced in his tone. When you tried to escape he stopped you in the living room by grabbing your wrist. “[F/n] please.”

You tried to pull your hand away, “I just don’t want to talk Jason.” Turning to him slightly he grabbed your other wrist. Keeping a firm grip on you. “If you don’t talk about it, you’ll never feel better.” He was trying to appeal to the side he had come care for. The open, fun-loving side. When you wouldn’t budge and was fed up with you trying to pull away from him, he pinned you to the ground, underneath his body weight.

“Jason let me up!” He had your wrists pinned beside your head and he was laying on top of you. “No, not until you talk to me!” He argued as you tried to fight him but there was no use due to his sheer size and strength. “Just tell me why you’re not eating and being so quiet, I’m worried about you [F/n]!”

“I can’t handle it!” You finally yelled, tears pricking at your eyes. “I can’t handle any of it. The voices they-they won’t stop, and I’m always _there_ in my nightmares! I keep getting flashbacks to the worst parts and I can’t do it anymore. I’m not strong enough!” Everything just spilled out of your mouth as tears fell down your face. Jason simply stared down at you, as his cerulean eyes bore into yours. He was so close to you, he’d never been this close to you. “And you! Fucking you Jason! You’re so damn kind to me and an amazing person no matter your past! You have a family and friends and I just can’t think of anywhere more special to be. I have these deep feelings for you and I don’t know how to deal with them! I-I have feelings for you alright! –” Your words were cut off by his lips pressing onto yours.

His moved against yours in the most gentle yet passionate way. Feeling him let go of your wrists he wiped the tears away from your face. You didn’t realize you were kissing back until you felt your eyes close. Your hands slid up his neck and into his hair. He pulled back and rested his forehead to yours, his nose just barely touching yours. Both panting, you slowly opened your eyes, seeing his still closed. When your nose pushed against his slightly he opened his eyes to stare down into yours. “Let me protect you.” He whispered, cupping your face in his hand. “Let me chase away your demons with my own.” You didn’t know what to say, all you knew was that you felt relaxed and safe. He had already chased away the voices and the flashbacks.

Slowly you nodded. He smiled before kissing you gently again. He wrapped your legs around your waist and pulled you up with him. Keeping your eyes closed as you kissed him, but feeling him begin walking. Soon you felt your back meet the softness of a mattress. Though it didn’t feel like your own. When he pulled away, you opened your eyes to see you were in his room.

He kissed your neck, finding the special spot that made your heart race faster. “Jason” you panted, catching his attention. “Hmm?” His hum questioning you. “I-I’m not ready too…” Your voice trailed off. He pulled away and looked at you, “We don’t have too. I just want to make you feel good, and if I can do that by simply kissing you then I will.”

You were shocked at how kind he was to you, you’d never experienced anything like that before intimately. He leaned down and kissed you again. Moving his lips against yours in that perfect rhythm once more. Your hands tangled in his hair, kissing him back so needfully. His kisses grew more heated as they progressed. He swept his tongue along your bottom lip, asking for entrance. Opening your mouth in response, letting his tongue collide with yours.

You had never felt so safe with such intimate contact. He was so gentle with you but kept every kiss so sensual. You knew exactly what he was feeling as he kissed you. After a while of his tongue wrestling with yours he pulled away and placed soft kisses on your face and neck. “Stay with me tonight?”

Jason had pulled away to look at you. His eyes held such adoration, and what felt like love? Unable to speak you nodded, yes. He smiled before pulling off his shirt. Making you remember he only ever slept in pants. He laid down beside you. Catching you staring at his scars, he took your hand. Placing your fingers on one of the larger ones. Allowing you to trace your fingers on them. “We all have our scars and our demons [F/n].” He spoke silently, watching you look up at him. “But we learn to live with them. We find people to help chase them away.” He placed your hand on his heart, cupping your face with the other. He pressed a soft kiss to your lips. “I want to do it for you.”

Smiling you nodded, “Thank you.” Burying your face in his neck as he wrapped his arms around you. “Thank you so much.”


	8. Ambush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8!!!! The next chapter will be the final chapter! Omg I can’t believe this series is almost over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Death, Kidnapping, Blood, Mulit-Personality Disorder (kinda?)

Since that night with Jason, everything seemed to go back up hill. You didn’t feel vulnerable anymore. You didn’t get nightmares or flashbacks. Jason did really seem to chase everything away. Though it did shock Kori and Roy when they came home that next morning to find you sleeping in Jason’s arms. They had a lot of fun teasing you both when you woke up.

Though they found your relationship very quaint. Jason would always steal kisses from you when it seemed like something was wrong, or he just felt like it. You always talked to him if you felt like something was wrong or if the voices were bugging you. You still never told him the awful things they’d say however. Though he didn’t ask either, knowing if you’d want to talk about it you would.

You also went out on a lot more missions with them. You fell into a rhythm, much like Roy, Kori, and Jason. You had a life as [F/n] [L/n] during the day and your life as [s/h/n] at night. You eventually met Jason’s family, learning the great Bruce Wayne was in fact Batman and all of Jason’s brothers and sisters had their own superhero titles. Along with Roy introducing you to Green Arrow as Oliver Queen and Black Canary as Dinah Lance.

Both families took quite the liking to you, and you to them. You felt very cared for and safe having so many superheroes on speed dial. Though that didn’t stop the fact that you felt like you were being watched. You mentioned it to Jason and he went through your day with you the next day but nothing stood out to either of you. Yes, you are a superhero but you’re still training and have to stick with Jason on missions. So, for safety precautions he’d stay on the phone with you until he knew you were safe wherever you were going. He was such a worrier.

You were currently on the phone with him as you walked back to the apartment. He and the others were out on a more advanced mission and felt it would be best if you sat that one out. He was coming home the next morning, and was at a motel at the current moment. Preparing.

Once in the apartment, closing the door behind you and locking it. “Okay Jaybird, I’m home safe. Be careful tonight okay.” He chuckled on the other end “I will doll, don’t I always?”

“No, that’s why I’m telling you. Tell Roy and Kori I say hi and to stay safe.” He grinned on the other end. “I will I will. Get some rest, goodnight babe.” You giggled. “Goodnight Jason.” You hung up the phone and set it on the small table. Walking further into the apartment, you pulled off your jacket. However you noticed the window open, and you distinctly remember closing it.

Though before you could go to close it, a pair of arms grabbed you from behind. Shrieking only to have your mouth covered by a cloth, smelling chloroform on it. You thrashed against them, but you were so drowsy from the chloroform you couldn’t focus enough to use your powers. The last thing you saw was a shadowy figure move in front of you.

* * *

The next thing you felt was a pounding headache as you jerked awake at the scent of smelling salts. “Have a nice nap?” A deep voice said. You looked in front of yourself to see a large man standing there. Your brows furrowed in confusion as you had never seen him before in your life. Your hands were bound behind your back, and your legs to the chair. A collar was around your neck, when you tried to use your magic a high voltage electric shock tore through your body.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” The figure said again. There were two men, lackeys, beside him. “Who are you?” You panted, still reeling from the electric shock. “I knew your seller.” He said while examining a syringe that was handed to him. “You see, before Red Hood and his band of merry mercenaries saved you I was planning to pay top dollar for you [F/n]. Your abilities intrigued me greatly.”

“Is that all I am to you? Merchandise? I am a person. You can’t buy me.” He chuckled, shaking his head. He flicked the syringe, removing the cover of the large needle. “Well, it’s not that I want to buy you, I want to buy the other mind inside you.” He had a sadistic smirk on his lips. “Those blackouts you’ve had, the voices. They aren’t PTSD or Schizophrenia. You my dear have a gift, and well I want to pull out the darker side of that gift.” Saying before he snapped his fingers. One of the two lackeys came over to you, craning your neck to where the man could push the needle through the skin. Injecting the contents inside you.

It made your veins burn and you felt like you were getting tired. You felt yourself being pulled out of your body to stand on the sidelines. All of a sudden you had no control over your body. Watching from within how your head rolled back and a laugh escaped your throat.

“And now who are you?” The man asked. The new consciousness now having control over your body smirked, “Seven.” The man smiled, laughing. “A pleasure to meet you Seven. I’m Dr. Klein. I’m a… colleague of Dr. Hugo Strange. I’m sure you’ve heard of the mad scientist.”

“I am familiar. Now if you don’t mind” She referred to her bonds. Klein gestured for the lackeys to release her. They cut her hands and ankles free before removing the shock collar. She stood up and faced him, crossing her arms. “Well? What is your purpose of releasing me?” Seven questioned as the mad man in front of her wore a malicious smile. “Well, Red Hood and the Outlaws have been a thorn in my side since they took on the sex trafficking ring. I would like you to collect them for me. I’d like a word with the former Robin.”

You were screaming inside your own head, trying to take your body back. However all it did was cause you more stress.

Seven grinned, “It’d be my pleasure.” 

* * *

Jason, Kori, and Roy all had returned to their motel room. They had finished the mission earlier than expected and it was around 2am. Jason checked his phone, looking for the text you always sent before you fell asleep. Though there wasn’t a message from you on his phone. His brows scrunched in confusion as he stared at the screen, you wouldn’t be up this late normally.

“What’s wrong Jaybird?” Roy asked from one of the beds. “[F/n] hasn’t messaged me that she’s going to bed. I’m going to call her to check in.” He mumbled before walking out onto the balcony. Holding the phone to his ear when he suddenly felt a small prick in his neck. Whipping around he saw a figure in an all black bodysuit and a black mask with white lenses standing on the railing. He was dizzy and dropped his phone before stumbling back when everything went dark.

Peering in the room the figure saw Roy laying with his back to the balcony and Kori was in the bathroom. You were freaking out from the inside at your body betraying you, all you could scream was not to hurt them. Seven slipped inside the room, and behind Roy. He felt the same needle prick before whipping around. They were all tired and their senses were a bit slower, making this easier on her.

Next she went and hid near the bathroom door, waiting for Kori to come out. She pressed against the wall, the syringe ready in her hand. “Hey Roy” Her voice could be heard in the bathroom. Pretty soon she had stepped out of the bathroom and Seven pounced. Injecting her with the same serum that knocked out Jason and Roy. When she passed out, Seven contacted Dr. Klein. “Doctor? I have them.” Saying into your communicator. “Excellent Seven. Bring them back here.” “Yes sir” She nodded before going to move them to where he had transportation set up for her.

Returning to the warehouse she tied up the Outlaws and sat them against a pillar. Turning back to Dr. Klein. “Nice work, you’re quite talented. Perhaps your abilities could be of use to me in the future.” She smiled at him. “Oh I don’t think you will be needing my services Doctor.”

“And why is that?” He asked confusedly. Seven tilted her head to the side, “Because” saying as she pulled out two throwing knives. Aiming and taking out his lackeys before sweeping his legs out from under him and pinning him to the ground, holding a knife to his throat. “You’ll be too dead to care. Let’s see if I put you in as much pain as you had those bastards put [F/n] through. You see, I care about her, but she’s too weak to live in this world. Her feeble mind, it can’t take the things this world throws at her. That’s why her mind made me. I’m here to protect her.” She pushed the knife to his throat, seeing the red blood ooze from the wound, her hand laying over his heart as the magic danced around it. “To protect her from people like you.” Growling before she flicked her wrist and the blade cut across his skin. Successfully slicing his skin, a malevolent grin spread on her lips as she watched the blood run from his wound. He screamed out, “Not fun being battered and broken huh?” She asked before sending a bolt of energy through his heart, watching the light leave his eyes

You wanted to cry, holy shit you wanted to cry. But you couldn’t, this wasn’t your body anymore. It wasn’t your mind. However, it was still _you_. You killed three people, you captured the Outlaws. You hurt Jason. It was all you.

_‘Why are you doing this?’_ You asked, praying the new consciousness would answer. “Because I care about you [F/n]. We share this body now, we’re both one half to a whole. I’m not going to let anyone hurt us again.” You couldn’t understand what was going on, if she cared so much, why did she hurt Jason. _‘Then why did you go after the Outlaws? After Jason? I love him!’_ You screamed, though it was met with a light chuckle. “Love, leads to heartbreak. So, I’m going to take care of that problem first. It won’t last and I’m sparing you the pain now, sparing _us_.”


	9. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh man! The final chapter!! I hope you guys enjoy it and I thank you for all the support on this series! PLEASE PAY MIND TO THE WARNINGS.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Multi-Personality Disorder, Death, Suicide

The first thing Jason felt was his head pounding. It felt like his skull would crack open at any second due to the immense pressure within it. Cracking open his eyes he squinted in the dim room. A single spot light hung above him, it being the only illumination of the room. For a moment, he thought he was in one of his nightmares. That the Joker would show up in front of him, dragging a crowbar along the concrete floor.

But no, he was very awake. Not hearing the sound of metal scraping against concrete, just the sound of breathing. Looking next to him, Roy and Kori were tied up beside him on opposite sides of the pillar. “Roy! Kori!” Saying in a harsh whisper, trying to bring consciousness to his friends. He heard Roy groan, shifting his body Jason brought his leg back to nudge him. Roy opened his eyes and looked around. “Where are we?”

“I don’t know, Kori’s still out.” Jason answered. “Do you remember anything?” Looking over at his friend. Roy thought for a moment, “They came up behind me, whoever it was. You?” Jason shook his head, “Only they wore an all black suit except the eyes” remembering the white lenses of the suit. Roy groaned and leaned against the pillar. Jason looked around the room while trying to get Kori to wake up. After a few minutes her eyes fluttered open. She tried melting through her restraints but had no luck.

“It’s cute you thought that would work.” Seven spoke from within the shadows of the ceiling. She’d been there the entire time. “I mean, I did capture you. You think I wouldn’t have the correct restraints?”  
  


Jason and the others looked for the owner of the voice. God, he wishes he had his helmet. Night vision would be great. “Who are you?” Roy called and the sound of her climbing down and her feet hitting the floor could be heard. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” She said before a laugh.

“Come into the light you coward!” Kori challenged as they followed the sound of footsteps. The footsteps stopped before Seven stepped into the light. They all stared at the white lenses that covered her eyes. Jason narrowed his eyes at her, “Who are you?” Seven laughed, “‘What am I?’ would be a better question.”

Seven grinned under her mask. “Me, well I go by Seven. And well, I’m the person you love Jason.” Jason stared at the masked person in front of him. Trying to decipher who they were. “No guesses? Well, you three aren’t much fun.”

They watched as she reached up to the top of her mask. Pulling it off as [h/c] hair framed a familiar face.

“[F/n]?”

Seven laughed, “In a way. You see, I’ve been inside [F/n] since the particle accelerator exploded. Since the night that wave of dark matter hit her. You see, I came from a very dark place inside [F/n]. That night, she was planning on killing herself. The mix of drugs and darkness seemed to fuse with the dark matter. Creating her powers which are connected to her emotions, along with _me_. I’m the embodiment of that darkness. I’m here to protect her from other dark things, from things that might hurt her. So I’ve taken the forefront, and she’s never coming back. I have to do this to protect her from those things. To protect me.” She kneeled in front of Jason, taking his chin between her fingers. “Things, like you.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’d never hurt her.” Growling back at her, not breaking eye contact. Seven chuckled, “It’s a shame really, she actually loved you.” Jason’s eyes widened when she said that, _‘she loves me’_ thinking to himself. “[F/n], please I know you’re in there. I need you to fight.” He begged trying to get through to her.

[F/n] was witnessing this entire thing, trapped in her own mind. _‘Please don’t do this’_ She begged Seven, who didn’t pay her any mind. “[F/n], she is weak.” She let go of Jason’s chin, standing and turning around. _‘I am not weak! I can take care of myself, LET ME OUT!’_ Her voice rang in her skull, Seven stopped walking. Holding her temple.

“[F/n] come on you’re stronger than her!” Roy yelled next, pulling at his restraints. “You’ve proven how strong you are, fight her!” Kori was next. Jason stared at Seven as she held her head. “[F/n] please, I need you. I… I love you!”

Seven spun around that instant, though it wasn’t Seven who faced them. Those words seemed to trigger something, a warmth inside your soul that was just enough to bring you back. Collapsing on the floor you looked up at Jason. “You love me?” whispering. “[F/n]” Jason smiled, sighing in relief. “God yes. I love you more than anything. I love you more than life itself.” You felt tears prick your eyes as you rushed over, pulling a knife from your belt and cutting Jason & Roy’s restraints and unlocking the special cuffs used for Kori. Immediately Jason stood and wrapped his arms around you. “I was so worried about you. Thank god you’re alright.”

You cried into his soldier, “I did so many awful things, I’m so sorry Jason. I’m so sorry.” He rubbed your back trying to help you calm down. “It’s not your fault, it was Seven. It’s going to be okay.” He began to lead you out of the room, Roy and Kori in front of you both. Kori was checking for anyone in the corridors. While Roy sent out a distress beacon.

As he helped you, thoughts ran through your head. What if you couldn’t control this? What if she comes back? She tries to hurt Roy again? Kori again? _Jason_ again? What if you’re really not strong enough for this? You couldn’t live with yourself if something happened to them.

Looking up at Jason, his eyes were glued on your exit. You took in his features; his blue eyes, the sharpness of his jaw, the white streak decorating the front of his raven black hair. Remembering how it felt to sleep in his arms and how he protected you every second of your life since you met him. How could you put him in this danger? It’s time you protected him.

In a split second you grabbed one of the guns from it’s holster on his thigh. Pushing away from him and pressing the barrel to your temple as your finger rested on the trigger.

“[F/n]! What are you doing?!” He yelled, seeing the tears stream from your eyes. Roy and Kori came running over, “[F/n] put the gun down!” Roy yelled.

“I can’t.” You shook your head. “I can’t put you all in that danger. With Seven, I can’t control her. She’s evil and murderous. I can’t do it, I’m not strong enough.” Sobs broke up your words. Jason shook his head, “No, you can do it. I know you can. [F/n] please put the gun down, I love you. Please, I’m begging you.” His voice trembled, in fear of the finger resting on the trigger. He took a few steps closer to you.

You kept your distance, taking steps back, “Don’t come any closer!” Your hand tightened on the gun, finger still on the trigger. “I’m sorry Jason. I’m doing this because I love you. It’s time I protected you. So, this.. This is goodbye.”

More tears streamed from your eyes. Jason shook his head, tears brimming his cerulean blues. “[F/n], I’m begging you. Please.”

“I love you Jason.”

As soon as the words left your mouth your eyes just tight and your finger pulled the trigger.

“Oh my god no no no!” Jason ran over, catching you before your body met the floor. “[F/n] please! Please wake up!” His hand caressed your hair as tears poured from his eyes.

Kori was clinging to Roy, hiding in his neck as Roy just stared shocked.

Jason pulled you into his chest, cradling you in his arms as he cried into your neck. “Please, don’t leave me. I need you, I love you.” Your body remained limp and lifeless as he continued to sob. Time seemed to stand still as Jason held your lifeless body in his arms.

It not picking up again until footsteps running into the room could be heard. Jason looked up, seeing Bruce running in with Dick, Damian, and Tim on his tail. With Oliver and Dinah running to Roy and Kori. “Oh no” Bruce could be heard mumbling.

Jason looked back down at you.

You. The love of his life.

_Gone._


	10. Alternate Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here’s is the alternate ending to Trauma and Healing that I wrote so you guys all wouldn’t hate me lol. Hope you enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Multi-Personality Disorder, Talk of Suicide

The first thing Jason felt was his head pounding. It felt like his skull would crack open at any second due to the immense pressure within it. Cracking open his eyes he squinted in the dim room. A single spot light hung above him, it being the only illumination of the room. For a moment, he thought he was in one of his nightmares. That the Joker would show up in front of him, dragging a crowbar along the concrete floor.

But no, he was very awake. Not hearing the sound of metal scraping against concrete, just the sound of breathing. Looking next to him, Roy and Kori were tied up beside him on opposite sides of the pillar. “Roy! Kori!” Saying in a harsh whisper, trying to bring consciousness to his friends. He heard Roy groan, shifting his body Jason brought his leg back to nudge him. Roy opened his eyes and looked around. “Where are we?”

“I don’t know, Kori’s still out.” Jason answered. “Do you remember anything?” Looking over at his friend. Roy thought for a moment, “They came up behind me, whoever it was. You?” Jason shook his head, “Only they wore an all black suit except the eyes” remembering the white lenses of the suit. Roy groaned and leaned against the pillar. Jason looked around the room while trying to get Kori to wake up. After a few minutes her eyes fluttered open. She tried melting through her restraints but had no luck.

“It’s cute you thought that would work.” Seven spoke from within the shadows of the ceiling. She’d been there the entire time. “I mean, I did capture you. You think I wouldn’t have the correct restraints?”  
  


Jason and the others looked for the owner of the voice. God, he wishes he had his helmet. Night vision would be great. “Who are you?” Roy called and the sound of her climbing down and her feet hitting the floor could be heard. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” She said before a laugh.

“Come into the light you coward!” Kori challenged as they followed the sound of footsteps. The footsteps stopped before Seven stepped into the light. They all stared at the white lenses that covered her eyes. Jason narrowed his eyes at her, “Who are you?” Seven laughed, “‘What am I?’ would be a better question.”

Seven grinned under her mask. “Me, well I go by Seven. And well, I’m the person you love Jason.” Jason stared at the masked person in front of him. Trying to decipher who they were. “No guesses? Well, you three aren’t much fun.”

They watched as she reached up to the top of her mask. Pulling it off as [h/c] hair framed a familiar face.

“[F/n]?”

Seven laughed, “In a way. You see, I’ve been inside [F/n] since the particle accelerator exploded. Since the night that wave of dark matter hit her. You see, I came from a very dark place inside [F/n]. That night, she was planning on killing herself. The mix of drugs and darkness seemed to fuse with the dark matter. Creating her powers which are connected to her emotions, along with me. I’m the embodiment of that darkness. I’m here to protect her from other dark things, from things that might hurt her. So I’ve taken the forefront, and she’s never coming back. I have to do this to protect her from those things. To protect me.” She kneeled in front of Jason, taking his chin between her fingers. “Things, like you.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’d never hurt her.” Growling back at her, not breaking eye contact. Seven chuckled, “It’s a shame really, she actually loved you.” Jason’s eyes widened when she said that, ‘she loves me’ thinking to himself. “[F/n], please I know you’re in there. I need you to fight.” He begged trying to get through to her.

[F/n] was witnessing this entire thing, trapped in her own mind. ‘Please don’t do this’ She begged Seven, who didn’t pay her any mind. “[F/n], she is weak.” She let go of Jason’s chin, standing and turning around. ‘I am not weak! I can take care of myself, LET ME OUT!’ Her voice rang in her skull, Seven stopped walking. Holding her temple.

“[F/n] come on you’re stronger than her!” Roy yelled next, pulling at his restraints. “You’ve proven how strong you are, fight her!” Kori was next. Jason stared at Seven as she held her head. “[F/n] please, I need you. I… I love you!”

Seven spun around that instant, though it wasn’t Seven who faced them. Those words seemed to trigger something, a warmth inside your soul that was just enough to bring you back. Collapsing ok the floor you looked up at Jason. “You love me?” whispering. “[F/n]” Jason smiled, sighing in relief. “God yes. I love you more than anything. I love you more than life itself.” You felt tears prick your eyes as you rushed over, pulling a knife from your belt and cutting Jason & Roy’s restraints and unlocking the special cuffs used for Kori. Immediately Jason stood and wrapped his arms around you. “I was so worried about you. Thank god you’re alright.”

You cried into his soldier, “I did so many awful things, I’m so sorry Jason. I’m so sorry.” He rubbed your back trying to help you calm down. “It’s not your fault, it was Seven. It’s going to be okay.” He began to lead you out of the room, Roy and Kori in front of you both. Kori was checking for anyone in the corridors. While Roy sent out a distress beacon.

As he helped you, thoughts ran through your head. What if you couldn’t control this? What if she comes back? She tries to hurt Roy again? Kori again? Jason again? What if you’re really not strong enough for this? You couldn’t live with yourself if something happened to them.

Looking up at Jason, his eyes were glued on your exit. You took in his features; his blue eyes, the sharpness of his jaw, the white streak decorating the front of his raven black hair. Remembering how it felt to sleep in his arms and how he protected you every second of your life since you met him. How could you put him in this danger? It’s time you protected him.

In a split second you grabbed one of the guns from it’s holster on his thigh. Pushing away from him and pressing the barrel to your temple as your finger rested on the trigger.

“[F/n]! What are you doing?!” He yelled, seeing the tears stream from your eyes. Roy and Kori came running over, “[F/n] put the gun down!” Roy yelled.

“I can’t.” You shook your head. “I can’t put you all in that danger. With Seven, I can’t control her. She’s evil and murderous. I can’t do it, I’m not strong enough.” Sobs broke up your words. Jason shook his head, “No, you can do it. I know you can. [F/n] please put the gun down, I love you. Please, I’m begging you.” His voice trembled, in fear of the finger resting on the trigger. He took a few steps closer to you.

You didn’t move, god you wanted to step back, to keep your distance from him. But, you couldn’t. You stared into his eyes as he came closer to you. “Jason I can’t do it.” Shaking your head at him, voice barely above a whisper. “You can do it [F/n], give me the gun.” He held his hand out. More tears streamed down your cheeks, staring at the man you love.

Thinking about all the things you wanted to do with him. Still had to do with him. You wanted to go on vacation together, move out on your own, snuggle together on the couch, have him steal kisses whenever he wanted. You still hadn’t been intimate with him, had him make love to you. You wanted so much to be with him. To love him. “But what if she comes back?”

“We’ll help you, there are people in the league who can help [F/n]. Do you trust me?”

Staring into his eyes, your arm seemed to become weak as a sob escaped your throat and arm falling to your side. Knees buckling under you. He rushed forward and caught you, taking the gun from you and tossing it aside as you sobbed into his chest. Tears of relief and joy escaped his eyes. “Don’t ever talk like that, or do that again. I can’t take it.” He cupped you face, making you look at him.

“I’m sorry Jason, I’m so so sorry.” You sniffled and he pressed his lips to yours. “It’s okay, you’re okay. I’ve got you.” You nodded before looking over his shoulder at Roy and Kori who were crying tears of relief themselves.

Pulling away slightly, Jason helped you stand and they both hugged you immediately. “You scared us shitless” Roy commented, making you smile.

“I’m sorry”

“Stop being sorry” Jason pushed your hair from your face. You were about to say ‘sorry’ again but stopped yourself. He chuckled before kissing you again.

“I love you [F/n] [L/n], and always will.”


End file.
